Last time that I updated this i was an entirely different person living in an entirely different world. I think what what changed me the most is the Church. God and all He means to me. Even now i can feel the cool metal of the cross that hangs around my neck. God has given me somethign that i will always cherish, that is, the support and love of a constant and reliable Father. A Father who is always there when i need him, a Father who is there no matter where i am, one who forgives me for my mistakes and who i can tell everything. A father who knows me through and through in all aspects and loves me even though i have rough edges. 
my own family is marvelous as well, this is in no way saying that i never had a good dad or mom in anyway. but they did not come with me to college and remained on the other side of the world. Which is what i wanted. But i do miss them terribly, although i will be going home in two weeks. just two more weeks. 
my friends have changed the most besides that too. right now i am in a little bit of a friend limbo. i still have my really good friends from home and highschool but now i also have some good friends from college. but its difficult becuase i spend so much time with all these new friends that you become close almost too fast and can become more irritated faster or fall in love faster or anything. but the closeness of companionship still feels distant. the closeness of time isnt there yet. i cannot wiat to go home and see my family and just stay in my house for a good week or more until i feel like i miss the world outside of that. but it is hard too becuase being so far away and in different time zones and having so much of our own things to do that no longer overlap at all, it is very hard to keep in contact with the old friends. even helen. she hasnt responded to my facebook or cell messages in probably two weeks. and i miss her. but i have a christmas present for her and i assume we'll be okay when we get back. sasha is doing well from what i understand. 
all the same i am very glad that i got the chance to go far away from home and get away from everyting ebven though i miss it all so much now. 
and boys oh boys. i havent had a boyfriend for almost a year now. which really is fine. but i do miss falling in love. and i guess i have to get over some people like andrew... andrew! 
see my life hasnt changed much, i still write compulsivly about boys. boys boys boys. why do women have to be so dependent on them? are the men dependent on women just the same? they seem so incontrol. maybe its just me who is so lonely. 
liz liz liz you are truly amazing, i just wish you could see the beauty in all the world and her people.

I cant believe that it is already friday again!

sounds familiar. i always cant believe how fast time is going. I htink that i may need to work on that. But oh well what am i sposed to do?

I try to fill up my days iwth as much as possible. and then there are days like today when i plan on going to swim in the morning and  when the alarm goes off i can barely open my eyes and then my ride calls and says she cant get out of bed and so we both skip swim. the alarm went off at 7 20 and i didnt wake back up until 12 20. one woudl think that that would waste half a day but i do not regret it. i needed the sleep . after all i fell asleep during batman last night. but it was the second time that i had seen it too.

yesterday i went to swim then i went on a walk with jordan then i went to a movie with a friend from snowboarding and then we decided to go another one. that was fun. this saturday i am going to get my drivers liscense. thats right. im going to pass. it cant be that hard.just gotta watch out for those stop signs .  today. i dont know what im going to do but its going to be fun that i am sure about.

i think that there is a chicken sandwhich in the fridge calling my name.

Title:	finally the day has arrived
Date:	2005-06-06 @ 16:57
Security:	public
Music:	kaiser chiefs
Mood:	amused

First I would have to say that I cannot wait for summer this year. Not that normally im not jumping out of my skin when it comes. but this year i am really looking foreward to it. i hope that i get my moms car. it would be soooo nice.

and today is a truly historical day.

Matt Gelber has finally broken away from his insecurities and his clingingness to Emma and has died his hair blueish/green. It is beautiful. I thought that i had noticed that he was not hanging around her as much and finally he has died his hair. the final sign that he is over his puppy love obsession with her. they have been broken up for what now, like a year? its about time Matt. im just glad that you have returned to your intial level of hottness.

This saturday is bryan and i's 6 month anniversary!! its strange because it seems like i was just saying it was only 3 months or not even 2 months. what happened to the time?

so this really wierd thing happened at lunch today. well besides walking into mr keoghs class where there was no teacher and only about 6 students watch a movie with a bunch a swear words in it. ok so anyway, i was walking back to lucn and this old guy stops me and puts his hand on my shoulder and says "and your getting taller too" i said "yes, thank you" and walked away. i think i reconize him as a sub i had in orchestra once, but i dont know what he was talking about. and :"taller too" what is this in addition to? i have no idea what was going on. but the good news is, is that i got my lunch and my sweatshirt back from keogh.